Poisonous Circles

A mouse scurried into our backyard at around 4:00 p.m. on a late October afternoon. In the area where I live, it’s not uncommon for them to make a quick appearance in a home or a workplace especially during the colder months. People have different methods of dealing with them.

October Backyard Mouse- we shall call it OBM, didn’t do the classic mouse dash, which would normally be a grayish brownish flash that disappears in about 30 seconds and is gone.

Nope. It stuck around. It had some major problems.

Circle, circle circle. Lay down and look dead, twitch and convulse, get right back up again and circle some more. It was beyond disturbing to watch it suffer. The loop continued for at least 45 minutes.

With simple scientific observation and deduction, and a little help from Google, it didn’t take us long to figure out that it must have been poisoned.

None of us in the house were brave enough to put it out of its misery. We found it dead in the dirt the next morning. It was properly disposed of, (thanks, hubby!) and the image and replay of OBM’s tragic death was officially stored away in the Can’t Ever Unsee That One file in our brains.

October B. Mouse also supplied me with some great metaphorical life connections.

What kinds of things cause my mind to go in little circles that make me fall, twitch, and feel a bit dead inside, only to get right back into the same dizzying and life-draining habits? Here are my top three:

  1. Trying to make things look and sound perfect
  2. Bottomless scrolling on social media
  3. Putting in too much extra time outside of contracted work hours

All of the above and any combination will cost me the thing I value the most in life which is time. They’re all challenging for me to break in different ways. Now I have a disturbing visual to remind me to protect my brain from exhausting circles. I would rather be in a loop that sounds more like this:

  • Say no and let go
  • Get control over making comparisons and grow creative outlets instead
  • Clock in on time and clock OUT on time

What routines or habits sometimes cause you to be stuck in a challenging circle or cycle? What are some healthier loops that you have found yourself in?

This post is dedicated to that poor little mouse. I promise to never use poison as a method of mouse or rodent prevention in the home. RIP OBM.

balance health and wellness live in the now mental health mindful

Until Jenn View All →

■ She/Her
■ Elementary Educator for Equity & Cultural Responsibility
■ Collector of Small Moments & Thrifty Finds
■ Wife & Mother
■ Bay Area, CA

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